he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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