I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
