Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
