Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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