Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
