omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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