I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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