Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
