i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
