I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
