remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
