I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
