Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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