what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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