What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
