i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
