Can Purell be used as lube?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
