Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
