It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
