I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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