I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
