there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
