Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
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