is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I wish you could order shots online.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
