Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
