I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
