toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize