Someone shit on the floor
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
