I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
