I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
