is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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