just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
