I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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