Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
