Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
