There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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