So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
