I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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