he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
