I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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