Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
