He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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