i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
