that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
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