My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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