But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
that's an acceptable place to lick
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
