Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
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