He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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