Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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