Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Such a big mess for such a small penis
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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