that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
and you fell through a lawn chair
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
