she was so not down for the gang bang
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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