insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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