My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
