i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
