you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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