I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
