last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
