I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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