i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
