i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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